9:00 am Go to Best Buy with crashing laptop.
9:01 am Trail cord in parking lot for dramatic effect.
9:05 am Get in line at Geek Squad counter, dramatically holding laptop and trailing cord.
9:10 am Describe symptoms to Geek Squad person.
9:15 am Determine that said Geek Squad person is not impressed with my explanation that “…the blue light won’t stay on and then the screen turns black.”
9:30 am Give hairy eyeball looks, honed from 32 years of teaching high school students (who are probably all working for the Geek Squad).
9:40 am Geek squad person not impressed. I am devastated that I have lost my glare. Will practice on husband more consistently.
9:50 am Listen to expensive options- all with no guarantees. Try to glare one more time. Give up.
10:00 am Bought new laptop which was on sale and less than the total of all past and projected repair costs and the national deficit.
10:05 am Do my brand of math, which I have labeled ‘Laura’s Justification Mathematical Formula for Whatever You Need to Buy at that Moment’.
10:20 am Leave Best Buy with new laptop and an old broken laptop, feeling snookered and confused and realizing that glares might not seem as effective when the ‘glarer’ is wearing yard clothes and a chip clip in her hair.
I am typing this on my husband’s laptop. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s faux twitter account of the Geek Squad coming to my house.