I have archived all I can.
I can’t hold on any longer or squeeze one more memory out of the belongings and home of my parents and
your grandparents, who are now both no longer here.
I walk through their house almost every day now searching for the perfect thing to hand you that you can
take and store away in your heart.
I am looking for myself too- all while saying grown up things to myself like ‘I have enough’ and I don’t need
There is no cure for this searching.
There is my childhood bedroom furniture from the ranch that Nonnie painted white.
That bedroom had lavender walls and lavender carpet, and I can’t count how many times I practiced
Saturday morning American Bandstand moves in front of that dresser mirror.
The estate sale process is ahead which has caused me to look even harder.
I opened a drawer today and there were her silver plate pie servers.
And in my sad sense of urgency, I thought ,”my girls each need to have one”.
They too must have a ladies’ Christmas party, as she did, and place a silver plate pie server on their
They need to serve milk punch and melting moments and fudge and sausage balls and spinach balls to their
friends who have gathered to celebrate the holiday season .
And then there’s Papa.
I gave Harrison and Mills his compass, and a magnifying glass, and his binoculars.
I have his gardening tools and a tiny pocket knife and so much more..
I also have the red tin roof he put on the little house in the backyard and the two beautiful mountain
laurel trees he planted in the front yard.
And then I replaced those thoughts and feelings with a deep sigh and doing the next right thing.
There is always work to get done.
I love you sweet girls.
This is all part of life.
Keep a tight rein,