Dear Daughters: August 2020

 

Dear Daughters:
 

First, may I say that you are the kind of people/thinkers I would want on a sinking ship. 

You inherently know what I was taught as a child growing up on a ranch in South Texas which is: 

watch for snakes. 

Due to our current health crisis, you are all facing work and career challenges.
 

You do not need my advice .

Our world seems to have changed, and the stakes are high.

You are Texas educators returning to work on campus or an attorney meeting with clients.

Both are slippery slopes during a pandemic.

However, the good news is YOU have not changed. 

You are smart and feisty and alert.

You know exactly what to do and how to do it- one day at a time.

You do not need me to help you figure this out.

 

However ...

For whatever it is worth...

If you get in a bind...

Dad and I can be there in a New York minute. 

We will pull into any parking lot at any time, roll the window down and say, "Get in."

 

Love, Mom

 

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Dear Daughters: Do You Have An Aretha In Your Life?

Dear Daughters,

Do you have an Aretha in your life?

Oh my goodness, I hope so.

You cannot travel through life without a voice, a song, or a beat that grabs you so fiercely whenever you hear it (regardless of your age), you have to move.

It is that soundtrack playing in the background, while growing up, that will play in your heart forever.

Somehow that sound connects us to our younger fearless, independent self.

Some day when you are my age, and you hear that special song, please dance- no matter where you are.

As Dad said to me during a recent grocery shopping trip,

"Boy, you really like to dance in the grocery store."

Why yes.
Yes I do.

My next favorite place to dance? In Hauler II (my Tahoe), of course, while driving.

Aretha and a whole host of Motown singers and groups were my soundtrack, as I watched American Bandstand faithfully every Saturday.

As soon as the program was over, I ran down the hall at the ranch, locked myself into my lavender bedroom with the lavender carpet, put a 45 or an album on the stereo and danced in front of the mirror.

I can still picture those Saturday mornings as if they were yesterday. 

It makes me smile as I write this to imagine what Nonnie was saying to Papa as he asked, "Where's Sister?"

"Oh, she's locked up in her bedroom practicing her dancing."

That practicing goes with you as you travel through life. 

It is tied to your own special imagination and creativity and that singular ability to entertain yourself- oh and practicing.

That is the touchstone I hope you have:) 

Now go find a mirror and dance.

Love , Mom




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Dear Daughters: Embracing Your Inner Off Trend Decor Self :)

Dear Daughters,

It takes a certain creative courage to embrace and design what you love in a home when it is not the trend of the day.


(Hang in there with me and please stop rolling your eyes. We have NOT talked about this before.)


Maybe it is because I have had more experience doing this, or because Nonnie did it everyday in her home, or because I know you have this inclination too.


We have not always gone the popular or trending  route in home design- even though we love the creativity and the beauty we see in all homes.


I have said before here at White Spray Paint that I love ALL houses because I know what it takes to assemble one.


Back to off trend decor with a case in point-


saltillo tile floors.

You know I love saltillo- you know I have always loved saltillo- but it is not a flooring that you often see chosen in today’s world.


Beautiful wood floors are everywhere now, along with tile that looks like wood, or other kinds of tile.


They are all beautiful.


But in my heart of hearts I keep going back to what I know and love.

Maybe it is because of this young couple, your grandparents, who began their married life together on a great adventure in Mexico.

I have always loved all things Mexico, and I know you do too.


It is about what calls to you. Don’t ignore that call. It is your heart speaking.

And so , we are having saltillo tile in many areas of Casa Golondrina.

It is far from perfect, it doesn’t exactly match the previous saltillo installed in the house, it all needs to be sealed, and on and on.


As the list of imperfections grows, my smile gets wider.



I love you.

Mom

Dear Daughters: Gardening Part II

                  

Dear Daughters,

I first wrote about your gardening heritage in Gardening Part I. 

I hope you will re-read that:)

My hard core, focused gardening began as you know about 10 years ago when I retired from teaching.

Prior to that, I had blinders on, and I relied on someone who came twice a month to mow, edge, and blow away the leaves in our yard. 

Once I had the time , I entered the world of gardening, along side the mower, edger, and blower and...

I have never worked so hard or smiled so wide in my life.

I've planted things in the wrong spot, been shocked when things actually grew, 
had millions of 'projects in the yard' at which point Dad often said,
'are you having another party?'
or 'no more projects!'.

I've wrestled with a bougainvillea and it and its thorns won,
I've dragged heavy water hoses all across our yard , 
I've tripped on those hoses and landed on various parts of my body, 
had dirt under my nails,  
screamed at unexpected insects while running in circles  and gone out the next day for more.
I've gone to the 'drive thru flea market' and had conversations with vendors in Spanish and admired their plants planted in coffee cans- like Grandmother Mills used to plant hers.

I've danced to whatever music was playing in the yard, and made Dad laugh while I danced in front of the den window where he was watching football.

I've had zinnia growing competitions with Papa and when he passed away, I cut zinnias from his garden to place on his graveside (but of course you know this- you helped me).

I invited a group of friends I called the Sisterhood of the Traveling Zinnia Seeds to plant dried zinnia seeds from Papa's garden.

I've taken small bouquets of my own zinnias to friends in need or to say thank you, and the tiny vases I used were part of the gift as well. 

I collected those vases at the flea market for just that purpose.

I've started my gardening in El Paso, even though the timing isn't exactly right, but I did it anyway because I couldn't stand it. 

If you have gardening in your life some day, you will know exactly what I mean.

I love you!
Have a wonderful weekend.
I know you are planning your trip to the flea market.
I am too :)

Love, Mom 

PS. This is what I looked like dragging hoses in our yard on Scout Lane:)

   

    

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Dear Daughters: Christmas Decorating Thoughts and Tips

Christmas on the Piano 2015

Dear Daughters-
As young adult women who all work ‘outside’ the home- as well as ‘inside the home’ - there isn’t a single feeling about decorating for Christmas that you have had that I haven’t felt as well.
It can feel rewarding and satisfying and stimulating . It checks all of our creativity boxes.
Yet truth be told, when it is December , and you have research papers coming in that need to be graded , or too many court cases and clients to handle, or book fairs to organize, it can feel a little overwhelming and exhausting.
This is a seasonal challenge sweet girls. Don’t let it get you down. There are after all ,all of those crates in our respective garages that hold treasures we so want to share with our families and friends.

Christmas Mantel 2015

Here are a few things that have helped me over the years.

* Play Christmas music and not just while you are decorating. Play it in the car too. Play it in your classroom, play it in your library,play it in your office.
It creates the ‘want to’- sometimes accompanied by a sweet touch of melancholy at times- but that will pass. Embrace that melancholy, have a good cry, turn up the volume and plan your front door wreathe.
* Learn to make a fluffy bow with wired ribbon that is patterned on both sides. This is a game changer. Thank you Mary Jo Brisnahan (a dear friend and teaching colleague) for teaching me how to make a bow about 20 years ago . That and her Sparkle Salad which has graced our holiday table for just as long places her in our family’s hall of fame.
Women of my generation are great fans of volume. A voluminous bow adds life to anything (even your hair) that has been packed in a crate, stored in the garage in our year long South Texas heat.
Try to find ribbon that is patterned on both sides. You will have to do less twisting if you can.
* Skinny, inexpensive garland is the easiest to handle for a slinger like me. I have purchased expensive, fat garlands, and they are indeed beautiful. Once I wrestled their garland extravagance to my mantle, the minute my back was turned, all sorts of whiplashing and crashing usually occurs. Find a garland of the lazy, low expectation variety.

Christmas Tree in the Den 2015

* Remember that sometimes trees are easier and give more bang for your buck. I have received some teasing for this on those years when I have had as many as 4 trees at Christmas. Do what floats your boat.

My Annual Ladies Only Teachers’ Christmas Party 2008

* Plan a small party- ladies only. It is the perfect way to usher in this glorious season. The laughter and the ‘I get you-you get me’ that results is immeasurable. And yes in that photo above that is an enormous container of margaritas on the rocks- provided by my dear friend and yours- Anna. It is her secret recipe , which is just as well- you won’t remember it anyway. My annual teacher parties at Christmas and at the end of each school year still make me smile. And yes, the red walls and the rooster are now gone.

I love you. As you know, I am going through things, including my Christmas decorations.
You each have a pile. The rest is up to you.

I love you,
Mom

**********

Linking to:

Monday Social #12
Share Your Style - The Essence Of Home, 21 Rosemary Lane
Party In Your PJs - Woods Of Bell Trees

Best of the Weekend

Dear Daughters: A Halloween Confession

I wrote this post several years ago , and it still makes me smile today. Oh the fun I had with my three precious daughters dressing them up for trick or treating. My husband always walked with them door to door in our neighborhood while I manned our front door handing out candy. Aren't these memories wonderful ? I know you have them too!

**********

Dear Daughters,

I confess…

When you were little, I may have searched through your Halloween candy under

the guise of looking for razor blades or other

threats to your safety

(hallucinogenic tattoos or LSD laced suckers)

so I could...

pick out my favorite chocolate candy (Snickers) or other candy (Reese’s Peanut Butter cups).

I confess…

that Halloween costumes were not in my wheel house,

especially after a long hard day of teaching English,

so with great dramatic encouragement

and the lure of all of my jewelry and makeup,

I talked you into being a gypsy or a witch

year after year.

There…

I feel better.

Trick or Treat!

I love you,

Mom

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Dear Daughters: A Special Kind of Cooking

Dear Daughters,

There is a kind of cooking that takes place in a kitchen that is the best kind.

It usually happens on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon when things feel easy and slow and simple.

It becomes the perfect time to whip up something special with what you have on hand.

It may be a pan of brownies because you have a mix on hand, or a chocolate sheet cake with chocolate icing because you have Hershey's cocoa in the pantry, or it could be Cherry Dessert, one of our favorite Ranch Recipes.

  

I did this last Saturday before the Aggie game.
I baked banana bread from this simple recipe in La Pinata.
 

yield: one loaf (I always double the recipe)Author: from La Pinata Cookbookprint recipe

Banana Bread

This is a simple, easy recipe.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1/2 cup oil
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 3 bananas, mashed
• 2 cups flour
• 1 tsp. soda
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 3 tbs. milk
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla
• 1/2 cup pecans, chopped

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Beat the oil and sugar together.
2. Add the beaten eggs, bananas and mix well.
3. Sift the dry ingredients together and add to the first mixture.
4. Add the milk and vanilla and mix well.
5. Add the milk and vanilla and mix well.
6. Bake at 350 degrees in a loaf pan that has been sprayed with non-stick spray for approximately 1 hour.

Created using The Recipes Generator

I had the ingredients on hand.
I had the simple Saturday.
I hope you will remember this special kind of cooking.


I love you. I am planning our Thanksgiving menu.
That is very special cooking!

Love, Mom


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Dear Daughters: Vegetable Trays

Dear Daughters,

You know I have hosted many parties in our home over the years, and I have assisted in co –hosting just as many others.

I learned something recently, however,  about an unlikely yet very well known party food that I wanted  to share with you.

First- some background.

‘A vegetable tray’ on the list of ‘what would you like to bring?’ items for a party has never been my favorite.

Maybe they too have a PR problem like congealed salads?

I don’t know.

Having said that , vegetable trays were also a prime choice for the exhausted, the over worked, the I can’t do another thing in all of us. A quick call to HEB to place an order for a tray and you were done.

That has its appeal doesn’t it?

I had an epiphany this past weekend though that changed all that.

You see , I chose to bring a vegetable tray to a party I was co-hosting this weekend.

Here is what I learned:

Anything previously considered dull can be transformed with effort, creativity, and positive thinking. 

I actually researched vegetable trays and found information and photographs that sparked my interest.

And no, I did not carve a bell pepper into a baby carriage this time, but it could happen .

Generosity is the key. Mounds of fresh, brightly colored vegetables that I washed and cut in my kitchen-

rather than HEB’s- conveys a message I think. 

What is that message?  I did this for you because I wanted to.

And finally, there are some pitfalls and shortcuts. 

I purchased HEB’s all time best spinach dip to serve rather than ranch dressing. 

Ranch dressing seemed like such a tired choice.

I gave up on cutting cauliflower. That was not in my wheelhouse.

We will be having steamed cauliflower for

supper this week.

There is a message here sweet girls.

Just a little ‘food for thought’… literally .

I love you,

Mom

 

Dear Daughters: Remember When?

Today, I have the pleasure of guest posting at Joyce’s wonderful blog

At Home With Jemma.

My topic?

The Simple Things That Bring Joy

Please stop by for a visit !

***********************

Dear Daughters,

There is no finer music to a mother’s ear than a conversation that begins by a daughter saying, “remember

when?”.

And so when I hear those words when we are all together, I smile.

Granted there are those times when you finish that phrase with ‘you dropped me on my head’, or ‘you made

me wear a big bow in my hair’, or ‘everyone else got to go’, or ‘you actually had our lamb blankets

monogrammed’!

Because I am your mother, however, I have those same memories.

I remember how scared I was when you wiggled out of my arms and yes, you hit your head (Katherine).

I remember how cute (to me ) you looked when all 3 of you were wearing big bows in your hair.

And I remember how cute you looked walking your monogrammed blanket wearing lambs to the show pen

for judging at the livestock show.

Recently, we had a ‘remember when’ conversation about week night suppers. 

I was teaching full time and many nights I felt like I wasn’t doing enough to get some sort of gourmet supper

on the table .

But that is not the way you remember it.

You liked Friday night pizza night, and you liked chalupas or tacos, or Dad’s roast, or salmon patties and

macaroni and cheese, or homemade hamburgers.

On nights you had dancing lessons , you didn’t mind Church’s fried chicken.

What a blessing for a sometimes harried mother , who wanted to cook more elaborately, but who just

couldn’t find another minute in the day.

Thank you for ‘remembering when’ as selectively as I do.

I love you , Mom

Dear Daughters: Feeling Irritated

Dear Daughters,

 

The test of a well lived life is often facing the little things that irritate, worry, or anger just slightly.

The women in our family are normally strong in a crisis, but what about when you forget to buy coffee

at the store , or you get a speeding ticket driving through George West on your way to El Paso, or you know it

is less expensive to make cupcakes for the birthday party, but for some reason cupcake success escapes

you?

This is what I think. (You knew this was coming .)

I think the key is accepting that at times we will have cause to feel irritated, worried , or angry.


The source/cause is real.


At the point of irritation is usually when well meaning friends or family say ‘let it go’, which is sometimes fuel to the fire.


I refer to this as ‘the hot lava button in my big toe getting punched’.

Here is my antidote.


While striving to let feelings of irritation go- look back at what was happening prior to becoming irritated.

Are you overly stressed?

Are you tired? Is there an unresolved issue that needs addressing?

Is there an amends you need to make?


Here it is in a nutshell :

Don’t feel guilty for becoming irritated-

instead look at what was going on in your life prior to that point.

That’s where the answer is.

Phew…


Don’t you just love these letters dear daughters? Aren’t you glad I post them on the internet?

I love you,

Mom

 

Dear Daughters: Where the Lesson Lives

Dear Daughters,


Warning: This is a thought teaser.

After a long week of extra gardening tasks for a special occasion,

it is easy to forget that it is about the relationship I have with my garden rather than the appearance of it to

others.


You may experience this in life.

It might occur on the day you wear your new outfit, or you did especially well 

on a work project, or you made special plans. 


It may seem to you on that special day that no one noticed what you had done.


What made you feel that way? Maybe no one commented .

And that is where the lesson lives.

It is not about what others say .


So if that is the lesson, what is the moral?

The moral is that it is about the special work we have done and how we make others feel rather than how we

feel.



Ponder that sweet girls.

Phew.

I know.

This may not make sense.

I promise it does… (to me…)

I love you, Mom 

*****

Linking to:

Saturday Sparks Link Party

Dishing it and Digging It

 

Dear Daughters: Nonnie and Papa’s House and a Pie Server

Dear Daughters,

I have archived all I can.

I can’t hold on any longer or squeeze one more memory out of the belongings and home of my parents and

your grandparents, who are now both no longer here.

I walk through their house almost every day now searching for the perfect thing to hand you that you can

take and store away in your heart.


I am looking for myself too- all while saying grown up things to myself like ‘I have enough’ and I don’t need

anything else’.

There is no cure for this searching.


There is my childhood bedroom furniture from the ranch that Nonnie painted white.

That bedroom had lavender walls and lavender carpet, and I can’t count how many times I practiced

Saturday morning American Bandstand moves in front of that dresser mirror.

  The estate sale process is ahead which has caused me to look even harder.


I opened a drawer today and there were her silver plate pie servers.


And in my sad sense of urgency, I thought ,”my girls each need to have one”.

They too must have a ladies’ Christmas party, as she did,  and place a silver plate pie server on their

table.

They need to serve milk punch and melting moments and fudge and sausage balls and spinach balls to their

friends who have gathered to celebrate the holiday season .


And then there’s Papa.

I gave Harrison and Mills his compass, and a magnifying glass, and his binoculars.

I have his gardening tools and a tiny pocket knife and so much more.. 


I also have the red tin roof he put on the little house in the backyard and the two beautiful mountain

laurel trees he planted in the front yard. 


And then I replaced those thoughts and feelings with a deep sigh and doing the next right thing.

There is always work to get done. 

I love you sweet girls.

This is all part of life.

Keep a tight rein,

Love- Mom

Dear Daughters: You May Not Recognize The Messenger

                                                                            

Dear Daughters,

You may not always recognize the messenger.

Those are often the messages that are the sweetest and the most profound.


I know this to be true.


I wasn’t even watching that particular episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

I was just walking through the room.

And then I heard it.

And I haven’t stopped listening since.

Over and over and over again.



Sweet girls, everyone hears things differently.

I guess our hearing is like our sight.

It really is all in the eye of the beholder.


So my Messenger that Thursday night visited me via Grey's Anatomy.

I was pulled up short, and then I smiled at the miracle of it all.







If you like, take a listen , and hear what I heard.

 
I love you,
Mom


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