Saturday, December 18, 2010

Faux Twitter: Christmas Shopping


6:00 am     

Decided to go Christmas shopping to make up for lost time .

6:30 am     

Realized I needed to have yesterday’s hair highlights repaired.

Should have realized when the hairdresser said ‘CHUNKY

that was NOT a good sign.

(Never been a fan of the word chunky

under any circumstances.)

8:00 am      

Left for hairdresser.

9:00 am      

Left hair salon with different colors of chunky highlights.

9:15 am      

Entered Target.

9:30 am      

Realized I had been calling games for my grandsons DSI instead of DS.

Told salesperson it was an honest mistake, after all there are a million

CSI shows on television. 

Realized he was staring at my highlights.

Whatever. Join the club.

10:00 am    

Decided to really push the envelope.

Went to WalMart.

Became distracted by the number of people in WalMart

and their intensity and confidence.

10:30 am     

Left empty handed.

11:00 am     

Went to JC Penney’s to look for little boys pajamas.

Stared at pajamas wondering what size to get.

Got them both the same size because the legs looked tight.

Realized I have become my sweet grandmother Mamaw, 

whose Christmas gifts were always the wrong size.

Now I understand why.

11:30 am    

Went to Ross .

Felt excited because, after shopping for an hour, my basket was full,

and I was marking things off my list.                              

Turned the corner at the back of the store and wondered why everyone

was facing the same direction with their baskets.

Realized it was the checkout LINE.

Left defeated.

12:00 pm     

Went home.

Tomorrow’s a new day.

Planning strategy to outsmart other Ross shoppers.

Just realized what the strategy is…







Claudia said...

Oh, the joys of Christmas shopping! I've been defeated by the length of a line myself.


Theresa said...

Oh my goodness! I stand in line... No matter how long it is:). It takes too long to fill the cart. Hope you have great luck shopping today! Hugs

Rebecca Nelson said...

You are totally hysterical. Gosh how I've missed you.

Now...where's the book? Waiting for it...I'll be the FIRST in line. :)


Sherry @ No Minimalist Here said...

Laura, I did the same thing yesterday at TJ Maxx and came home empty handed. Monday I will be there when they open! The joys of Christmas shopping!

Emily said...

You poor lady. I'm the same way about lines and crowds. HATE them. I did a lot of online shopping this year. Very pleasant :)

C. Earl Mahan said...

too funny

Linda@Coastal Charm said...

Love the's just too funny! Merry Christmas to you and your family.


Anonymous said...

Love your new header.

Yeah, skip the highlights (and yeah, in what world does chunky mean anything positive??) and that about sums up my day yesterday. Everyone in the world decided to shop.

D.B. said..., my friend. One click, two day free shipping. The UPS guy brings it right to my door! I'll do almost anything to avoid getting out among, as Sally Field said while portraying Sybil - "The People, the people, the people........" SCARY!

Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

Oh dear. Hope you get it all figured out.

Glenda/MidSouth said...

I learned the hard way - The line may be longer the next time.:)
Enjoy your weekend.

Debby said...

I seriously don't go to the malls or most stores after Thanksgiving. I did pony up and go to Toy R Us early one day this week. No crowds.
I order mostly online and that had it's problems this year. I actually went to
Barnes and Noble ths week and had two arms full of toys and books. Got to the checkout line that was short and the power went out.
A total blackout for a whole street. I came home and ordered everything I had in my arms . Some of the things were on sale online. Those boxes came in a couple of days. Crazy times, right?
Sorry about the "chunky".....I think I will avoid hairdressers during this time as well, hah.

Rust: Vintage Inspired Design said...

What a laugh your story!!

Deb said...

oh Laura...your posts always make my day....I don't like chunky anything....guess cause I was chunky myself for so long...LOL

No name said...

I'm completely laughing right now. Not at you, really I'm not, it's just your wrote this so well it reads like one of those funny emails that get sent around.

Stay in line is one strategy or go first thing Monday morning! Believe me that's the best time to shop every where but definitely in malls. Unless of course it's the day after Christmas or the day before.

Good luck shopping,

Olive said...

I like chunky peanut butter! Highlights just confound me especially the price as they think highly of that. I am essentially scrooge and decline to shop until after the holiday.

Pam @ Frippery said...

So funny Laura! Thanks for the laughs but I wish your day had been better. We don't have Ross up here in Ohio. At least not that I know of.Wish we did. For the last few years I have done almost all of my shopping online. Aside from things I have picked up at antique malls and independent gift shops. I have been virtually stress free as far as gift giving. I always felt like a wreck worrying about pleasing everyone. Now I can just shop in my PJ's and at least one chore is out of the way.

trash talk said...

First...chunky should only be used when referring to pineapple and an occasional piece of furniture...period!
Second...Target has Nick & Nora p.j.s for boys and girls. I love these.
Third...give a chunky girl a heads up next time before she starts reading while drinking a coke!

Lea @ CiCis Corner said...

Oh, do I love me some Ross! It seems the line is always long in that store, but I do love that store. I never leave without something. I have found more treasures there for bargin prices. Sorry you left without yours! Maybe i will still be there on your next visit!

Sissie's Shabby Cottage said...

Oh the joys of Christmas shopping! Yeah, right.
I cannot believe how busy the stores are and I really don't like crowded stores and long lines.

Good luck tomorrow.


June said...

Please, please, please tweet me everyday...your life is sooo much more exciting than mine. And a whole lot funnier!
Big Christmas hugs...

Lisa ~Suburban Retreat~ said...

Although the day was not productive for you, it certainly provided some entertainment and chuckles for me and for that ... I thank you as I too, had a horrible day trying to wrap up and complete some Christmas Shopping (minus the Chunky highlights)! xox

Jojo said...

So sorry but your description of the sequence of events is quite entertaining! Hope tomorrow goes well - without the chunks.

LPC said...

Hahahahahaha. Not in a bad way though, just in a "been there done that" kind of way.

Sandra said...

Oh my goodness, Laura! I am laughing here! You see...a few months ago I decided that I wanted to be a blond!:eek: Forward to the present, I am not liking my hair! I have a hair appointment Tuesday and I am going to beg my beaautician to color my hair! I appreciate your story and hope you have a wonderful evening!

Unknown said...

I am literally laughing out loud because that sounds exactly like what my day was like on Friday. Sooooo many people - I swear next year I'm buying everything online!

Merry Christmas!


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